I'm Fine

You look well, I’m fine.

I’m wearing my new boots, I’m fine.

I washed my hair, I’m fine.

I’m wearing my favourite top, I’m fine.

She’s gone. I look fine, she can’t see.

 

I want to tear down the trees

rip up all the grass

crush the fence surrounding me

kick all the people out of here,

I’m a raging monster,

but to her, I’m fine.

 

How are you? I’m fine.

You look good, I’m fine.

You ok? I’m fine.

Repeat, repeat, repeat, I’m fine.

 

I’m on the verge of drowning, but I’m fine.

I’m thrashing in a raging sea, but I’m fine.

I’m staring death in the face,

but to you, I’m fine.

 

I’m the one who lies

I’m the one who laughs,

I’m the one who lies

I’m the one who smiles,

I’m the one who lies

I’m the one who cries behind your back,

I’m so not fine.

 

You don’t see the real me

you don’t feel the hurt,

you don’t see the frustration

you don’t see the anger,

 

I want to rip the heart out of my life

I want to jump off the highest bridge

I want to swallow a thousand pills

I’m screaming for help,

but to you, I’m fine.

Performing 'I'm Fine' at open mic night (the original longer version)

Background: Whenever people ask me how I am, I tend to say 'I'm fine' and then regret this as sometimes I'm definitely not fine!! My legs could have been feeling really wobbly, stiff and I'm struggling to stand. Or this wheelchair may be making my life easier, but I'm feeling left out. I'm unsure how much of the truth people want to hear. I suspect this is true of all of us.

Amazing comment on Twitter from Melanie Reid, journalist at The Times newspaper

'This poem should be on the wall of every hospital in the country' Sue Marchant BBC Radio Cambridgeshire

Listen to me read and talk about this poem (the original longer version)

Reading poem on Huntingdon Community Radio HCR104fm

Copyright ©&℗ 2020 Julie Stevens (Jumping Jules)

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