Copyright ©&℗ 2019 Jumping Jules Poetry

Copyright ©&℗ 2019 Julie Stevens

I’m Fine

 

You look well

I’m fine

I’m wearing my new boots

I’m fine

I washed my hair

I’m fine

I’m wearing my favourite top

I’m fine

She’s gone

I look fine

She can’t see

 

I want to tear down the trees

Rip up all the grass

Crush the fence surrounding me

Kick all the people out of here

I’m a raging monster

But to her I’m fine

 

How are you?

I’m fine

You look good

I’m fine

You ok?

I’m fine

Repeat repeat repeat

I’m fine

 

I’m on the verge of drowning

But I’m fine

I’m thrashing in a raging sea

But I’m fine

I’m staring death in the face

But to you I’m fine

 

I’m the quiet one who’s always fine

I’m the one with a smile on her face

So I’m fine

I’m the one who laughs

So I’m fine

 

I'm walking a tight rope

But I’m fine

I’m wading in mud

But I’m fine

I’m buried in sand

But to you I’m fine

 

I’m the one who lies

I’m the one who laughs

I’m the one who lies

I’m the one who smiles

I’m the one who lies

I’m the one who cries behind your back

I’m so not fine

 

You don’t see the real me

You don’t feel the hurt

You don’t see the frustration

You don’t see the anger

 

I want to rip the heart out of my life

I want to jump off the highest bridge

I want to swallow a thousand pills

I’m screaming for help

But to you I’m fine

Reading poem on Huntingdon Community Radio HCR104fm

Performing 'I'm Fine' at open mic night

Background: Whenever people ask me how I am, I tend to say 'I'm fine' and then regret this as sometimes I'm definitely not fine!! My legs could have been feeling really wobbly, stiff and I'm struggling to stand. Or this wheelchair may be making my life easier, but I'm feeling left out. I'm unsure how much of the truth people want to hear! I suspect this is true of all of us.

Amazing comment on Twitter from Melanie Reid, journalist at The Times newspaper

'This poem should be on the wall of every hospital in the country' Sue Marchant BBC Radio Cambridgeshire

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